I hope you are all enjoying the weekend! You may have seen me mention about this on twitter last week but I wanted to share with you all my body shaming experience
So, on Saturday night last weekend, the husband and I decided to go out for a few drinks. This then eventually led to us arranging to meet a friend and go clubbing (as you do when you’re child free for the evening!!!)
I was having a really good time, we’d found a booth and were dancing and drinking the night away! During the night, I went to the loo on my own but there was a huge queue out the door and into the corridor. I stood in it chatting to other girls around me, like you do!
I then heard someone behind me say something like “wow she’s short”, which I am and because I wasn’t wearing heels I couldn’t fake it either. I am comfortable in my height, so when they said this it didn’t really matter to me.
I turned around and standing there was a really tall young man. We talked for a bit, his mates joined in the banter with him about how tall he was, but never once did I remark about this or laugh along because I don’t body shame others! Eventually, he got down on his knees and asked me to come and dance with him. I politely declined and joked that my husband would not be happy about that! He asked me again and I responded with “look, go have a dance and find someone your own age” because he was quite a young and even if I was single, way too young for me!
Then something weird happened, I left the conversation and moved further into the toilet, as the group of boys were walking away I heard the young lad I’d been speaking to shouting “I didn’t want to dance with you anyway because you’re a fat b***h” to me!
I was shocked, as were several of the women who were stood with me. One of them even shouted after him to call him out! They all told me it was ok, and that I wasn’t fat and how pretty I was. All I could think was “but I am fat and that’s ok”. I didn’t dare to say it out loud though, I felt ashamed of myself and went into the cubical to pee!
I left the toilet composed and ok, but I became really self-conscious after that. I felt like every girl who had heard him was pitying me. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be out having a good time and I felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking the same as him. I remember walking towards my husband and just bursting into tears. I didn’t know what was wrong and why I was so upset, maybe it was because something like this hasn’t really happened to me before.
After about two minutes of crying, it dawned on me, what the hell was I doing? Why was I letting this get to me? Fat is a describing word, I am fat and that’s ok! I had every single right to be out having a good time with my husband and my friends just as much as he did! I pulled myself together and enjoyed the rest of my evening. I saw the body shaming boy around the club a few times, but he neer even looked at me twice.
The saddest thing about this is that he won’t even remember what he did and he won’t even care because in our society it’s socially acceptable to shame someone for their appearance without having to suffer any consequences and knowing how you make someone feel. It’s accepted as normal, and like I did we are just supposed to sit back and take it! I would say that I wish that I had commented on how tall he was and made him feel uncomfortable, but I didn’t because I’m not a horrible person or someone who body shames others!
Well no more!
I implore you to call out body shamers, like that girl did for me, because in hindsight that is what I wish I had done! I feel like I et myself down by not saying something! Those who make negative comments about your body deserve to feel small. Call out your friends who shame others, call out your family! The only way we are going to make sure this isn’t acceptable is to make those who do it uncomfortable and letting them know that what we are doing is wrong!
Easier said than done sometimes bus remember you are worth something and you do not deserve to be made to feel like crap about yourself either by someone you know or someone you don’t!
I’d like it if you could share your experiences with me and others in the comments below!