Lately…..

Hello everyone, I’ve been struggling with the blog this week, I’ve only managed to get scheduled posts posted, there has been so much going on! I was definitely ready for the weekend to arrive and I’m looking forward to a few drinks tonight!

We’ve got the builders in the house at the moment, so that means that my house is a complete disaster! They are in sorting out the cellar because it has been flooding, making it damp proof so that we can store things down there finally. Hopefully it will all be finished by Tuesday!

As if that wasn’t enough, the main fuse box exploded on Tuesday night. Luckily James was in alone and acted quickly before any serious damage to the house was done! We had to evacuate and spend the night at Mum and Dad’s. The Norther Power Grid attended and were here all night fixing it, adding a new line to the mains from the road and a new mains fuse! There is now a hugeeee hole outside my front door and on the pavement too!

On the upside, I finally took the plunge and got myself a new camera. I went for the Nikon D3300, which is supposed to be a great entry level DSLR. I’m not photographer but I’d love to learn so I’m hoping this will give me a great start and my husband too!

I’ve got lots of things planned and coming up on the blog. I’ve decided to add three regular monthly features as well, starting this month!

Dress Up FridayWhy dress down when you can dress up! I will be sharing one dressed up outfit on the third Friday of every month! The first instalment will be coming up on Friday 20th!

Beauty buy of the month – This will feature a product I have bought myself this month that I am totally in love with, something that I really recommend to you all! I’m still to decide for this month yet, but that’s coming up on Friday 27th!

My favourite day – I’ve decided to focus on being a bit more positive this year and I’m going to share with you a special or favourite day of mine each month! This will be live on the blog on Sunday 29th!

What have you been up to lately? Do you like my ideas for my new monthly features?

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My goals for 2017!

I want this year to be the best for me, the blog and my life so  I wanted to post about my 2017 goals, something a little bit more positive to start  this year, rather than making resolutions that I cannot keep!

My Goals for 2017-emma-ellis-the-plus-size-of-life-plus-size-blog-plus-size-blogger1. I love my job but at the same time I don’t find it fulfilling anymore. As I had a baby while I was at University I pretty much just graduated and went straight into work. It’s time for me to start doing something I have always dreamed of and starting a career for myself.

2. I literally get to a point where I hibernate and because of my anxiety I cannot pluck up the courage to see if anyone wants to do anything! But this year I want to spend more time with my amazing friends and be a bigger part of their lives!

3. This year I really want to live on the tightest budget we can, become better with money and budgeting and hopefully get well on our way to owning our own home!

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Being a working mum …

This is something that I struggle with, I feel guilty alot for working full time instead of being there to do everything with my daughter.  I wanted to do a post on this and talk about what it is like being a working mum and how I cope with the work/life balance!

When my daughter was born, I was a full time University student. I went back to complete the final year of my course when my daughter was just 3 months old, I managed to get my degree and then start work straight away! I think this is why it has never been a struggle to work and be a mum for me because essentially I have done it from the very start.

That said, there’s something niggling that just gets me lately though, when I see just how much other mothers do wit2012-07-17-15-00-27h their children, I feel like somehow I’m missing out and so is my daughter.

You see, I don’t get up everyday and take my daughter to school, I get up and I leave about 6 am for work and my other half takes her to childcare at 7.30 in the morning and then she is taken to school from there. Likewise, I’m not there to pick her up when school finishes at 15.15, again she goes to childcare and is picked up around 6pm when we are both home from work.

Sometimes, I feel like this means I’m not good enough, like I’m failing my daughter in someway because on the odd occasion where I can take her to school, she gets emotional. I feel like it’s because she doesn’t want the moment to end because it hardly ever happens.

Then I feel I don’t know many of the other mums, which sometimes makes birthday parties extremely difficult for me. I suffer with anxiety anyway and find it really stressful in that type of scenario, where I feel like everyone already knows each other and then there is me!

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Ten thoughts that go through my mind while in Primark

A bit of a lighthearted post today. I bloody love Primark. Not always amazing for us plus size babes, but I still adore it, so here are ten thoughts that go through my mind while in Primark!

1. Am I in Primark again, really? My office is a five minute walk from the Leeds Trinity Store, so I am in there alot just browsing and 9 times out of 10 I buy something!

2. OooOOoo New Lines, New Lines! There is always something new to look at, I walk around thinking about what I would wear things with and how much everything would look amazing in my wardrobe!

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Mini rant!

This post is going to be slightly different in that im going to have a mini rant about something I have experienced lately.

I am plus size and usually choose a size 20 which has always been fine! Now I realllly struggle to find clothes that fit me!

I went to a wedding yesterday evening and I wanted something really special to wear. I ordered about 10 dresses from various retailers and lines and I was so shocked by the differences in size OF THE SAME SIZE DRESSES!

First I tried two Chi Chi London Curve dresses, both of which were a size 20. One just fit me, to the point that it was acceptable and no areas were too baggy. The second one swamped me. It was wayyy too long and extremely baggy around the bust and neck! I was like eh? The thing is, they weren’t too dissimilar in style at all!

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Dear husband …

Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary, I can’t quite believe i’m here writing this post, i’m just smiling from ear to ear!

I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank my husband for everything!

 

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You hold our little family together so well, without you life would be boring! Thank you for always putting our needs first, for always being there when we need you but most of all for just being YOU!

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Anxiety and Me!

 

**Guys, before you read this you should know this post focuses on Mental health which may be distressing/a trigger for some to read. I don’t want to upset any of you so if you think this post might affect you in some way please don’t read on. If you can relate to what I am saying and feel like you need someone to talk to, reach out to someone close to you or contact an agency such as The Samaritans who are there to give support and advice**

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time, in fact this is possibly about the eighth time I have written it! so here it is – Anxiety and Me!

For as long as I can remember I have suffered with anxiety. My earliest memories are from secondary school, I was a performer, I loved to sing in shows and productions. Music was all I wanted to do with my life at this young age, but it wasn’t where my anxiety showed. It manifested itself in other things such as walking down the corridor alone or sitting and eating my lunch. I would get hot and sweaty if I had no one to walk with or just thinking about the possibility that someone I was friends with wasn’t in my next class with me. This often resulted in me sitting in a toilet cubicle to try and calm down. I tried to tell people – but I was just dismissed I was a performer right? there was no way that I could suffer from this sort of feeling and be confident enough to perform in front of hundreds of people. I couldn’t control my feelings of anxiety and I started to self harm at a young age as a way to cope.

Throughout my late teens and my time at University, I didn’t really make many life long friends, I flitted from group to group trying to fit in. I used to pretend to be someone I wasn’t just to try to get rid of everything I was feeling. I’d lie about things just to make myself seem better and stop the anxious voice in my head that said “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH” It was a shit thing to do because I ended up being a horrible person to some people, I have so many regrets, things I did that I cannot change now but I think acknowledging my mistakes and facing them has helped me tremendously.

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Take me back to Thailand!

It’s been almost two years since my husband and I went to Thailand for our friends wedding! I loved it so much, I want to go back!

I thought I’d share with you a little snippet of our holiday and some of the reasons I want to go back so much!

We went for 2 weeks at the start of December 2014. As soon as we got out of the airport at Phuket, the warmth hit you. We stayed at the Airport hotel for one night and accidentally slept in which meant we missed our coach to the port for the ferry to Koh Samui! We had to get a taxi to the ferry port instead which took us an hour and cost us about 5000THB!

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Koh Samui!

We stayed here for 4 nights of our trip in a small resort in Mae Nam on the beach, close enough to Chewang so there was plenty of chance to go exploring! The night life here was vibrant plenty of things to do and see. We explored the area most evenings, finding somewhere different each time to sit down and have a drink and something to eat. On our final evening we found an Ice Bar, which was a welcome treat from the heat!

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We could see Koh Phangan from the beach at our hotel, knowing we were going there next, the weather did not look too great!!

Koh Phangan!

We wanted to go to Koh Phangan because its the home of the Full Moon Party! We booked a room at the opposite side of the island to Haad Rin at Ao Thong Nai Pan Yai beach for a few days relaxing before we hit the Full Moon Party.

Although it was really cloudy here, it was still so warm. We spent all our time relaxing and reading on the beach.

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My most played tracks!

Today’s post might just give you a little insight into my personality! Like most people I LOVE music, So I thought I would share with you ten of the most played tracks currently on my deezer account!

I love music and I know what I like. I don’t really tend to listen to much chart music so I never know what songs are on the radio. This doesn’t mean I’m a snob when it comes to music, by all means if I like the sound of something, I will listen to it regardless of who it is by! But I mostly just tend to listen to my favorite tracks playlist but I am a serial skipper! So here goes (in no particular order):

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  1. Please, Please, Please let me get what I want – The Smiths
  2. The Mother we share – Chvrches
  3. First time caller – White Lies
  4. What took you so long – Courteeners
  5. Hairdresser on Fire – Morrissey
  6. If I could change your mind – Haim
  7. Chasing Rainbows – Shed Seven
  8. Fall Harder – Skylar Spence
  9. Pounding – Doves
  10. This is the one – The Stone Roses

I was quite surprised at the list and the lack of solo artists (bar my beloved Morrissey). I love all these songs equally! I can’t get enough of Skylar Spence at the moment, I only know who they are because one of their songs was on Made in Chelsea and I used Shazam! The Smiths/Morrissey didn’t surprise me, I adoreeee him and them, I walked down the aisle to Please, Please, Please let me get what I want so I’m glad that made the top most played!

Hope you enjoyed this little insight into my music taste! Let me know the songs you’re loving at the moment and how different your top played list would be from mine!!

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Take me back to – Seahouses!

I’ve been thinking about doing more lifestyle posts and sharing with you some of the things I do with my family when we’re not at work or at the weekends. This got me thinking, what if I was to share with you some of our memories, times that we loved and places we visited that I would love to go back to again.

This time I’m sharing a holiday from September 2012. It was a big family holiday and we went to Seahouses in Northumberland. I’d never been to this coast before and I was not sure what to expect but I had an amazing time, it’s such a beautiful place!

Seahouses is a small but beautiful little harbour town with plenty of things to do and see. We did so many things in our short time here, including taking a boat ride to see the seals around the various islands. The beaches in Northumberland are stunning and we spent so much time here, amongst the mass of sand dunes, lovely white sand and breathtaking views.  One day we even walked along the shore to Bamburgh castle.

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We stayed in a beautiful cottage, in the centre of the town. It was close to all amenities including a lovely old pub, the shops and the amusements. The cottage was big and even had a secret staircase, that the kids enjoyed very much! Come to think of it, I think the adults did too!

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Maisie had such a good time and she was just learning to walk, so I will always remember it as the perfect family holiday where my daughter basically took her first steps! She also loved the sea. One of the days that we were down on the beach, she stayed at the waters edge almost all day and did not want to get out when it was time to go back!

Have you ever been to Seahouses? Where would you like to go back to?

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